Comments on: A Psychological Profile of an Abusive Boss

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 31 Aug 2018 07:28:49 +0000

I feel for you all. My boss is an abusive piece of crap. He targeted me as weak and an easy outlet for his anger. At first we all joked around with each other than he started calling me dumb and stupid more often in front of my coworkers. Finally, after a couple months of this abusive b.s. I exploded at him and told him with many expletives to never talk to me like that again. He looked wide eyed and petrified like the cowardly bully I thought he was. I am now treated with much more respect but our relationship has gotten colder but it was worth it. I now feel more confident about myself and stopped taking crap from any abusive jerk. Life is too short to deal with jackasses. Hope my story helps those people dealing with bully bosses. Sometimes you gotta lay your job on the line to confront ahole bosses for your own sanity and self esteem.

By: john

john — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 20:42:30 +0000

I try my best to ignore it all and cleanse myself of the daily crap with doing meditation.

By: Neil Petersen

Neil Petersen — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 03:49:22 +0000

In reply to Pam. Really sorry to hear that, Pam. It sucks to feel like you have gone out of your way to do everything right and then have to deal with that. If this is an ongoing pattern of behavior, it's definitely worth looking at whether you have other options -- it's not worth sacrificing your mental health for if you have a choice!

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 02 Jun 2017 18:37:22 +0000

In reply to Pam. There has been mental abuse all along , feeling unworthy and hated.but I stuck in.

By: Pam

Pam — Fri, 02 Jun 2017 18:34:52 +0000

In reply to Shelly. My boss and office manager have known of my major surgery for sometime. I will be in hosp fo2 to 3 days 6 weeks recovery.mind you they knew. But I did get letter from my Dr so it would be in my file. I had never been written up nothing ect , but hard worker. My boss comes in office this morning screaming at me about my surgery.and how inconsiderate I am.tears poured down my face. After the on going criticism, I ran to bathroom and cried very hard. Wondering who treats a person like this after I have been with her for 4 years.so I left for the day. I'm to return tomorrow. Anyone have suggestions?

By: Neil Petersen

Neil Petersen — Mon, 11 Jul 2016 18:36:25 +0000

In reply to Dana.

I’m not a lawyer, but I think it would depend on the specifics of your situation. If some kind of discrimination is involved, that could warrant legal action. On the other hand, it’s not necessarily against the law to be a jerk. I’d do some research and consult a lawyer if possible — good luck.

By: Dana

Dana — Mon, 11 Jul 2016 18:22:21 +0000

Is there anything legal people can do against bosses like this? Aren’t there labor laws out there to help or can these people just get away with it?

By: Nedra Devine

Nedra Devine — Wed, 16 Mar 2016 11:31:24 +0000

In reply to Neil Petersen. I had a boss like that at my last job. I haven't worked since. I didn't have a white collar job like you, I was a waitress, but the premise was the same. All the coworkers got along until the boss got there, and then you could instantly feel the tension. He would scream and cuss us out in front of our customers, (which several complained about), tell us to do something one way one day and scream at us for it the next, telling us to do it differently. He was especially nasty to people he didn't like, downright cruel, until they couldn't take it and quit. He would call you stupid and make you feel stupid, and nothing you did was enough. I had reasons for staying there, everyone there did (financial) but it stressed me out so bad I wound up on drugs and eventually quit to get myself together. Not worth it.

By: Neil Petersen

Neil Petersen — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 13:07:19 +0000

In reply to Faces.

It’s extremely difficult to be in a situation where you have to choose between what’s right for you as a person and what you need to do to get by financially.

Without knowing the details of your situation, I think you owe it to yourself to spend some time brainstorming every option you have to get into a better work environment. For example, how do the downsides of moving stack up with the downsides of continuing to work for this guy? Again not knowing the specifics, it seems like moving is an unknown whereas your current situation is something you know will be bad for your health and your happiness.

If it’s an option, I’d also think about finding a therapist to talk to because one of the things they’re best at is being sounding boards for untangling these complex sorts of situations. All best!

By: Faces

Faces — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 01:58:09 +0000

I too have an extremely abusive boss. I was hired by a great boss who died three years later. The man who took his place was great for about a year to everyone in our department. Now we have been working together for 8 years and the past 7 have been completely unbearable. He continually screams, accuses people of doing wrong when they haven’t and just shakes everyone on a daily basis each and every time there is any interaction with him. He berates and puts us down, tells us everyday that we can easily be replaced. And almost every single time he sees you, he makes some kind of hateful or just flat out mean comment to you. He tells people to do something and after they do, he denies telling them and will verbally attack them for doing it and for saying he told you to do it. I have been written up for that myself once. I try everyday to keep smiling but after so many years of this, now I try never to leave my office or even look up when he passes by my door. I cry every night wishing I could go elsewhere. But we are in a very small town with very few jobs. I have searched for years now. He has even gone as far to tell me to stop taking my medication for a life long condition I have that my doctor says I can not go without. I have tried going over him to get someone higher up to do something, but all they see is how much work has been done in the department as a whole. And since I am the only one who works inside our office (everyone else are outside workers and I am inside doing bookkeeping), I get most of it. It has gotten worse since nothing was done, Everyone else is afraid of losing their job so no one else will report him. More work is getting done because he follows them if he doesn’t like them until he can catch them stopping at a store for a drink or snack. It’s almost as if he thinks we are robots and we can run without breaks or eating? Now he knows he can do it and no one above cares as long as work is done. The others are doing more because they don’t want to come inside anymore. I can barely get the paperwork I need to get my job done. I am desperate, how do I keep this up without losing it? I stay sick since all this started and all I hear is how it’s all in my head because I am a female and females likes drugs! Even though I have had my neurologist send him paperwork on my condition and how stress makes it much worse. Advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated. If I lose this job it’s doubtful I will be able to get another job here and I can not afford to move not to mention, I have been here my whole life. I don’t know if I could just pick up and move. I’ve never been anywhere.